I believe in connections. I think you can meet someone, and with no real explanation, just know they will be important. You can vibe with one another, laugh and joke until the bar shuts down. You talk until the whole world shuts down. But it’s not love. It can’t be love. Not yet. Love at first sight can't exist when love requires so much more than physical appearance, a glance, or a look. Love requires commitment and ugliness. It requires letting down barriers and guards, and letting him see the side of you no one else has ever seen before. Love requires time and mutual connection.
I didn't love this right away. It wasn't until much later, when you cared for me when no one else did, when you made me open up to you so much which I never did before, when you made me feel so special and important.
But love wasn't enough. Love at first sight doesn't exist, but when it's right, when the love is ready and willing, it will bloom. It will blossom and you might have to trim some weeds along the way, but if you take care of it, it will be enough. It will survive. Love is tough. When it's right, it will endure. Unless it just hasn't been right yet. This is my take on love, edited from an article from the thought catalogue. What about you?
We rarely pick up a pen and paper to communicate with one another due to the convenience of text messages and emails. However, when writing is used as a form of communication between people, such as cards, letters and postcards, the impact of such messages lasts far longer than any messages sent through high-technology.
I like to nurture friendship and stay connect with people by writing cards once in a while. Some people may not appreciate it as much as I do appreciate handwritten cards, but I'm sure that they'll appreciate the effort. It shows how much I care to buy a nice paper and write my heartfelt words with my favourite pens and markers. It does take much effort to make a nice handwritten card, but I love writing them to show my appreciation to friends and people around me. They may lose it, throw it, misplace it; but I will still continue to art of handwritten letters.
This is how I will be there for you, my friend
Monday, October 26, 2015
This is how I will be there for you
1)Encourage you to talk;
ask you what’s on your mind
If you seem sad -- something might be on your mind, something
might be bothering you.
I'll ask if I can help. I'll tell you, "Let me know if you
need help, call me if you need me, I will be your listening ear."
If I get the feeling that you don’t want to talk, I'll ask in a
nice way, then leave you alone. I will make an effort to show that I genuinely
care about you.
2) Give my full attention
and listen carefully
If you're brave enough to share what is on your mind, I'll listen
to you without interrupting or offering advice. I will pay attention, focus on
you, and try to understand the way you see your problems, and how that makes
you feel. Then depending on the situation, I might offer help and advice. I
feel that most people just want to be heard, so I will not nag or advice too
much (but again, depending on the situation).
3) I know that it's all about you, not about me
I am here to listen to your problems, not talk about my
experiences. I will put myself in your shoes. I will not say too many "If
I were you" because I am not you. I here to listen to you, not to be
annoying and make you feel worse. I will listen with an open mind and a
open heart.
"What bothers you? What do you love most in people, and yourself?"
Friday, April 03, 2015
"What bothers you most about other people? What do you love most in other people? What bothers you most about yourself? What do you love most about yourself? (Dig until you see the correlation)."
Whether people genuinely want to befriend me bothers me most about other people. I'm also afraid to befriend someone who has bad intentions or hidden agenda or someone who do not actually want to be my friend.
Kind intentions, hidden good thoughts, helpful and loving and welcoming personality -- these are the traits I love most in people. They are beautiful, not beautiful for something as temporary as their looks -- they are beautiful deep down their soul. They are beautiful for the way they thought. People are beautiful for that sparkle in their eyes when they talk about something they love. People are beautiful for their ability to make people smile even when they are sad.
What do I love most about myself? I don't know.
There's nothing much I love about myself. I kinda dislike myself instead.
But if I have to choose something I love most about myself, that'd be for the genuine kind intentions I have. I can't really have very bad or evil thoughts and intentions towards others -- I genuinely want to help people, help friends, help those in need -- but sometimes I get too passionate trying to help people that I get sad and hurt when people don't appreciate it / think I have hidden agenda / think I'm trying to act like a saint... ... (I'm really not asking for anything in return, I just hope you can appreciate the fact that I'm trying to help you because I really love you, my friend. And helping people makes me feel slightly better about my existence.)
Maybe it's because I love people much more than I love myself, and helping others is the only thing I live for because I'm basically a lost soul with no idea what else I'm living for.
You will change. You’re not the same person you were three years ago. You’re not even the same person you were three minutes ago and that’s okay. Especially if you don’t like the person you were three minutes ago.
People come and go. Some are cigarette breaks, others are forest fires.
You don’t have to open the curtains if you don’t want to.
Never stop yourself texting someone. If you love them at 4 a.m., tell them. If you still love them at 9.30 a.m., tell them again.
Make sure you have a safe place. Whether it’s the kitchen floor or the Travel section of a bookshop, just make sure you have a safe place.
Sometimes, looking at someone will be like looking into the sun. Sometimes someone will look at you like you are the sun. Wait for it.
You will learn how to sleep alone, how to avoid the cold corners but still fill a bed.
Always be friends with the broken people. They know how to survive.
You are good at something, whether it’s making someone laugh or remembering their birthday. Don’t ever let anyone tell you that these things don’t matter.
Loneliness is nothing to do with how many people are around you but how many of them understand you.
You will be okay.
You will be okay.
Read this on tumblr and it's totally a #remindertoself. Churning some positive vibes in me.
I hate our judgemental society.
Monday, May 26, 2014
"For humans, judgement is an instinct; we use it to make assumptions of what is safe, dangerous, unwise or otherwise potentially harmful to us. This can be applied to the teen-aged masses in generalized, metaphorical way"
It is nothing but human nature to judge, and want to be judged.
Even though many of us like to think that we don’t care about the opinions of strangers,
few can leave their homes without fixing their hair, applying makeup, wearing the latest trends, or any of the many other applications to the human body which are unnecessary, and time consuming.
Do people have better things to do than judge people wrongly?
First impressions are important, because you are judged based on what you wear, how you look, the way you present yourself, the way you speak, the way you sit.
Many associate girls with makeup as "vain", people who wearing spectacles as"geeks", people who wear tank-top and shorts as having "no fashion sense". What logic?!?
If you're not rich, if you're not wearing the branded clothes, if you're not driving a nice car, if you're not having a nice job, if you're not popular... if you're not in the crowd, you're literally treated like SHIT in this society and most people won't give a damn about you, except strangers who aren't so judgemental, and except friends who accept you for your unique self.
WHY? Because people nowadays only care about money and looks.
Personality isn't as important, as long as you look good / smart / rich, people notice you more, you will stand a better chance in everything. I HATE THIS SOCIETY, I hate the real world. I thought that being kind, and having good thoughts is enough as they say that "good thoughts will shine from within". But I don't this in our society? I'm genuinely being good to everyone I meet, because I know that people can feel that, but it does get sad and tiring after a while when no one cares about the good thoughts I have for them (but a few do, and I really do appreciate them, such rare and lovely friends I treasure)
Do not judge people until their personal actions give you a reason to. All of us as judgemental, yes ALL OF US. It's only a matter of whether we're more judgemental or less judgemental. We are all beautiful human beings and deserve respect and love. The world was made for peace and love, not hatred and judgement. Would very much appreciate if more people live by the simple philosophy "Do not judge people until their personal actions give you a reason to." I'm tired of being judged and maybe that's why I shy away from people.
Don't let {anyone} ever dull your sparkle
Friday, May 09, 2014
There will be people who will dull your sparkle, but hey, you should make your best efforts to avoid these people. Reside with those who bring positivity, joy and peace into your life. You don't deserve any hate or negativity from others; all of you, all of us deserve friends who are supportive of the choices we make, supportive of the things we do, and moulding us into a better person. Leave those filled with drama and hate back wherever they came from. Just some late night random thoughts.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson
Think about it. Are we not blessed?
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Sometimes, we forget how blessed we are.
We tend to be filled with negativity, hatred, and anger, that we forget to fill our life with positivity.
We tend to be too fortunate, too pampered, that we crave for more and nothing is seems enough.
Complaining how much you hate school?
Think about those children who want to learn, have the love for learning, yet are not given the chance or are too poor to be schooled. Think about those who risk their lives and fight for their rights to be schooled -- just because they are so thirsty for knowledge, they want to learn, they want to be knowledgeable.
Complaining how ugly you look?
At least you have a face, at least you can see the world, at least you can hear those sounds. I always complain that I look damn ugly, but at least I have a pair to eyes, a pair of ears, a nose, a mouth, a face. I'm not perfect, nobody is perfect, I'm full of flaws which are stitched together with good intentions. I'm not as good looking as everyone else, but I'm already very blessed and happy with the way I am. Why expect so much when it's already good enough? It can never reach perfection, so just accept it. Everyone has flaws, we all have different flaws, be it an extra toe, a big nose, poor eyesight... but just love yourself and spread positivity to people around you.
Complaining how little clothes you have?
Think about how fortunate you are to have proper garments to wear, to at least a few good pieces of clothes. Think about the homeless or people living in poverty who only have one torn piece of clothing to wear everyday. Aren't we already so fortunate? Of course there is nothing wrong with shopping, nothing wrong with having more clothes, but as I was online shopping earlier on, I stopped and wondered "How I wish I could buy these clothes for them" and with just a new piece of clothing, they'd probably feel like the most fortunate and happiest person on Earth. But for us, shopping is second nature to us such that we forget the true joy of having new clothes. My point is, the more fortunate we are, the harder it is for us to be happy and the more complains we have because we are not satisfied with so many things.
It's normal, but it's bad because we are imperfect humans with imperfect lives.
We must fill our lives with more positivity and spread it to the people around us
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."
Even though God promises special blessings for waiting, waiting is one of the most difficult thing to do. Why is it so hard? Because we are so prone to take matter into our own hands, to follow our own schemes. Even in this modern world, waiting is still a big part of life. (waiting for the train to arrive, waiting for your friend who is forever late for everything, waiting for your food, waiting for for school to start, waiting in the queue, waiting your cake to bake...)
But waiting, despite our impatience and dislike for it, is a vital element in life.
& most things are worth the wait.
"Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord."
"Don't look back. You're not going that way." // true, but easier said that done.
We all have a mental picture of who we are, how we look, our strengths and weaknesses.
This self-image is a mental picture of ourselves. And this mental picture contributes to our self-esteem.
Self-esteem is how much we feel valued, loved, accepted and thought well of by others & ourselves.
Those with healthy self-esteem feel good about themselves, appreciate their worth, feel proud of themselves and do not shy away from people. Unfortunately, I'm not one of them.
Those with low self-esteem feel as though no one will like them or accept them to a certain extent and they feel terrible because they can't do well in anything and everything.
Do you have high or low self-esteem then?
We all experience problems with self-esteem at certain times in our lives, some longer period of time than others, some shorter period of time than others. Especially during our teens where people just judge each other and we're figuring out who we are and where we fit in society.
I personally feel that many people with self-esteem issues are opposite of the mental picture of who they want to be.
For example, I personally think that I have problems interacting with people and I just can't bring across a message well when talking to others. And I have problems starting a convo / interacting with people. And my mental picture of who I want to be is a confident girl who can talk properly and people whom I'm talking to can be engaged in our convo. And since I'm the opposite of the mental picture of who I want to be, I tend to shy away from people and as observed from my peers, I also tend to look down on the floor. I think that's a sign of having low self-esteem in myself. And I don't really look at people in the eye.
(actually I've better example than this but ermmm I don't want to share my other weaknesses so I'll only share this one)
I hope I can work on that.
Feel quite relieved to share how I feel with y'all though I've no idea (but wonders) who reads my blog or will read this exact post.
It was our farewell assembly two days ago (Friday, 4 Oct) which was also our last official day as a student in school. Then I thought of how everything was fated. Life would have been so different if I chose the other path.
I did not get a good PSLE score to begin with (240 with merit grade for Higher Chinese) and so I had a hard time choosing which school to go to because my score is 不三不四.
I actually got posted to Yishun Town Sec [YTSS], which was my third choice (it's a good school btw, their cut off point for express is 235 plus). I actually also wanted to put Tanjong Katong Girls' sch as one of my choice but it's way too far (i put it as my last few choices though) and I also did consider putting Bukit Panjang govt high school as one of my choices too but i didn't really like the school and I kinda wanted a school with pure express students only and I wanted girls' school (boys I met in pri school were immature so I dislike working with guys and less distractions lar).
Back to YTSS, many students from my school (woodgrove pri school) was actually posted there and the class I was in had majority of them. Which was kinda good. But I still did not like the school as much. I only went for the registration day. After that day, i received calls that I've successfully entered Nan Hua High school [NHHS] and Crescent Girls' School [CGS], the two schools I appealed to and I got in to both school (probably because my score was damn close to their cut off point and I took Higher Chinese and had achivements in primary school).
And i chose to enter CGS even though my friend, Lian Zhi, and quite a handful to primary school schoolmates entered NHHS. I have no idea why I was so brave to make such as ... life changing decision. But I swear I never regretted it.
Because I went to CGS, I met a bunch of lovely friends and everyone (or at least most people) were so accepting of me. And because I took Higher Chinese (I actually appealed to take Higher Chinese in Primary school because I missed by one mark to be eligible to take Higher Chinese), I was fated to enter classes 1C1'10 and 2C1'11. Because everyone in my sec 1 and 2 class took Higher mother tongue, so if I did not take Higher Chinese I would have been in a diff class.
Anyways that's beside the point but what I meant was if I did not take Higher Chinese, or did not choose Crescent, life would be damn different.
And because I came to 1C1'10, I met {S.P.A.C.E.KL.XH.HY} which stands for Sharmaine, Pamela (me), Alicia, Cheryl, Elisabeth, KaiLin, XinHui, HengYong. And we always make it a point to go out together after exams each year though we are in different class after streaming in sec 2.
Currently, Cheryl, KaiLin and XinHui are still same class as me, in G2 class :) But Cheryl was initially in G3...glad that she appealed to G2 with the reason "because my friends are in G2 and I will study better with them", and am thankful to the principal who approved of it!
It's all fated once more.
Speaking of G2, I'm glad to be in class 3G2'12 and 4G2'13. It's one of the best class I can ever have. I have no idea how to further eleborate on this but it just feels like no one in class judges you and everyone loves you for the way you are. I've never really felt this way or feel so attached to my class.
X
And on Friday, after farewell assembly, we had class outing to the beach (I'll do a post on that after Os because I need to enter facebook and get the photos from KaiLin) and watched the sunset, feels so romantic lol. Like what XinHui said, it kinda shows how our life in Crescent ends as the sun sets.
Then after that we had dinner at vivo. I was buying my food then Sherri asked me if I'm done and she and Maryam will wait outside the food court. And I saw that she had Cheryl's phone and I was like "oh both of you swapped phones". Then a minute later when I was done buying my food and couldn't find them outside the food court, I called Cheryl's number to find them. It's like...God arranged for me to know that they swapped phones so I'll call Cheryl's number to find Sherri. Oh wow. I know this sounds weird but it's just wow. And all the coincidental things which have happened.
Because it's all fated, right?
[p.s: do pardon my spelling errors (if any) as I'm blogging this from phone and am lazy to check or edit this post.]
